Why I’ll Never Be a Proverbs 31 Woman

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I have never been one to make my voice heard when a controversial subject comes across the interwebs. There are writers much more eloquent and intelligent about theological matters than I am.

So when reading Preston’s posts about the “I’d rather have a Proverbs 31 Woman than a Victoria’s Secret Model” movement I could not help but scratch my head in wonder.

You see I will never be considered a Proverbs 31 woman. Nor will I ever be mistaken for a Victoria’s Secret model.

And quite honestly I’m perfectly okay with never being either.

I do hope I bring good and not harm to my husband. Somehow I think if God nudges me awake at three a.m. He’s okay if I’m not up before the sun rises. So getting up before dawn to prepare breakfast? Not exactly. There’s a reason God gave someone the idea for Eggo waffles. And planning the day’s work for my servant girls? That would require I actually have servant girls. Energetic and strong. If you’ve ever met me you know I’m not an energetic person. That’s not the way God made me. I hope I help the needy. I try.

I could go on, but you get the point. I’m far from this ideal woman. I do hope, though, that I’m growing into one who fears the Lord.

I know women who could be considered Proverbs 31 women. But not because of the pressure put on them to be so.

What if I am not gifted in business dealings as the Proverbs 31 woman is? What if my giftings lie in other areas?

But it’s the pressure that concerns me. I know God placed this passage in the bible for a reason. Perhaps to be an example, but I can’t imagine He wanted the pressure put on us to be this perfect ideal. It’s one thing to strive for an ideal. Another to place so much expectation on ourselves and others. Is it fair to judge a woman because she doesn’t live up to these ideals? Because at some point the pressure to perform, to be someone you’re not, to be perfect, becomes more important than the person God made you to be and the purpose He has for you. I’m not saying it’s wrong for a woman to try and reach for these ideals if that’s what they feel God has called them to do. But I think it’s a fine line between striving to live as a woman after God’s heart and striving for perfection.

I could try to be this ideal woman and I hope aspects of my life show aspects of her, but I let perfectionism fall by the way side years ago.

Life: Unmasked

Pat Washington - December 19, 2011 - 12:36 pm

Gorgeous photo. :-)
Looking forward to reading more.

Joy @ Joy In This Journey - December 17, 2011 - 10:17 pm

Amen to this. I’m trying to leave perfectionism behind. And the pressure too!

Christine - December 14, 2011 - 8:28 pm

This passage, this Proverbs 31 woman, is at once daunting and attractive, isn’t it? It touches upon all of the ideals, and seems to exemplify what we “should” be. But I, as a recovering perfectionist too, am trying to release the “shoulds” and embrace grace. It seems you are doing the same. Good for you. :)

Carolyn Counterman - December 14, 2011 - 7:52 pm

Oh, to be able to let perfectionism fall by the wayside… thanks for these thoughts.