He walks up sidewalk through barely familiar doors. I pray for Holy Spirit to wash peace over my soul. New buildings, new routines, new teachers, new classmates. Will he find his classes okay? Will he learn to change for P.E. quickly? Will he lose his things? Will he adjust to 7 classes and 7 new teachers? Will he remember to bring home the right books and what the homework assignments are? I do not worry about him meeting and forming new friendships. He is at ease meeting new people. Confident.
Amidst all the new, though, I know he will be fine. Even knowing this is where God has led, this mother’s heart still feels a bit anxious. Because when those months of prayer and confirmation and direction become living, breathing, and real, there is still a moment of taking deep breaths and dismissing voices that want to steal trust. Voices that want to blur the direction God led.
I see courage as he walks through barely familiar doors.
“All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage.”
I see insane courage in my son, my little artist, now only a few inches shorter than I and not so little anymore. At twelve years old, realizing something is not working for you and choosing to leave familiar is nothing less than courageous. His heart found courage and chose to be brave.
Knowing God was leading this direction, I prayed He would open his heart even in the smallest way, not wanting to force. Not wanting resentment, I prayed for a pinhole. God opened a dam.
More confirmation of His plan. Manna in the desert.
So I sit, about to have breakfast with a friend, while I wait to pick him up from his first day filled with changes. I wonder how his day will go. Will he remember the new routines tomorrow?
Yes, it takes insane courage to leave behind what feels safe and familiar.
And those with insane courage? Those are the ones God uses to make a difference.