Prayer is often a slow work. Slowly I am learning to pray first when something upsets me. I do not always succeed in remembering to let it be my feat response. But even when I do what I am struggling with does not immediately change.
I’m not talking of prayers for physical healing or a house to sell or something incredibly significant.
No, I’m talking more of those internal struggles. The struggles where your attitude is anything but grateful or joyous or positive. The struggle where you have to bite your tongue not to let un-life-giving words slip out.
One day recently I awoke to another day of dreary skies and misting rain. (How do people who love in the northwest manage it?) I had not slept well the night before and I needed sunshine. Even on a cold day, bright sunshine and blue skies help my attitude. But I trudged through as you have to do because hibernation is not an option.
Then something happened that set my attitude into a tailspin. Something that was unfair. Fairness is high on my list. Life isn’t always fair, but if at all possible I expect fairness. Rarely, very rarely, do I ever speak without thinking, but without taking a deep breath I spoke. And then in turn berating myself because I then felt like an idiot.
Dreary day, perceiving something as unfair, berating myself.
Like I said, tailspin.
Get behind me, Satan.
I should have immediately prayed when I perceived the unfairness. It didn’t take long after inserting my foot into my mouth and beginning to berate myself for my prayers to begin though. Praying a God would change my attitude. Praying he would calm my spirit.
It was slow work. Very slow. Snail pace slow.
Eventually, several hours later, He began to quiet my spirit. Yes, it was slow work. My attitude did not turn around instantly.
So often prayer is slow work. I guess if it weren’t we would not be as thankful for the work it does.