Affirmation and Validation

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. — 1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV)

I’ve shared before how I struggle with self esteem issues.  A lot of times the head knowledge of knowing I’m valued by God (and even my familyand friends) clashes with needing to feel affirmed and appreciated.

I find it ironic that I have no issues with my hair going grey very early. I refuse to color it because I like it, yet I struggle with self esteem in most other areas. Mainly creatively.

I know I’m not the most creative person on the planet. I’m okay with that. I’m the first to admit I’m inhibited. Inhibited by the fear of what others will think, what they will say, will they not like me, etc. Hurtful remarks make me retreat within myself and it takes 100 times as many positive remarks for me to pull myself back out. It’s a constant battle and a balance.

A constant battle to remind myself that I am valued even though I’m rarely told. A balance to remain humble and remember God gave me the gifts I have when someone does speak words of affirmation to me.

But let’s face it. It’s nice to be appreciated for our gifts and talents.

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day about his recent concert. He was really excited that some of his family was able to be there and how they told him how great he did. He said it made him feel validated.  I thought his choice of “validate” was an interesting word to use so I looked it up.

Validate:  to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of

Isn’t that what we all want? To feel worthy? To feel legitimate?

Over the past week God sent a couple of friends my way to affirm me.

One friend did it without realizing it. By simply asking for my creative take on something this friend made me feel validated. It made me feel like my creative thoughts are legitimate and worthy of voicing.

I was recently invited to be on the board of a local arts organization. The phone call inviting me was an unexpected surprise. Yesterday I was discussing with a friend who is a member of the same board how excited I was, but also how nervous I feel. She shared the kindest words to reassure me that I do have something to offer.

I am so very grateful that God sent these friends with these words and actions. While everything I have to offer and give comes from him it is also nice to feel affirmed. To feel validated.

Do you struggle with needing to feel affirmed? Does God send friends with just the right words when you need it?

I’m joining in the Keep Faith Fresh Community today.


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