Worry. Kind of a loaded word. Releasing worry feels as if you’re giving up control. Not an easy thing to do.
As I began this post my thoughts were about how well I hide my worry from others. All but a couple of closest friends ever see my worry. But then God used a situation to move my thoughts in a different direction.
Parenting is hard. I see parents who seem to have perfect children. They are always perfectly behaved & well mannered.
Mine? Not so much. Not that we don’t teach him and discipline him. We do. He’s just rather head strong. More times than I’d like to admit I don’t handle frustrating situations with my son with much grace.
I. Screw. Up. Even when I fail, when I mess up in other ways, as a wife, as a friend, and any other role I have, I worry. I worry I’ve upset someone. Did I hurt them? What should I have done?
I lost it with my son the other afternoon. His first book report is due this week. He needed more details in it. When I told him this he lost it. Falling on floor drama losing it. He’s 10. Too old for falling out on the floor drama.
I lost it. I couldn’t deal with it. He argues with me about everything it seems. He’ll argue about anything until he’s blue in the face. And I just couldn’t take any more of it. So I lost it.
We managed somehow to finish the report & PowerPoint presentation.
Then worry grasped my spirit and moved me into a sad place. How many times am I going to mess up with this parenting thing? When am I going to learn to take deep breaths & walk away for a few moments? How do I make him understand when I tell him something needs improvement that it doesn’t mean what he has done is bad?
So I worry. I worry about not being the perfect parent, wife, friend, daughter, sister, etc.
Thankfully God sent encouragement my way. I was reminded that by worrying I’m placing faith in MY abilities. My abilities that will fail every time. By worrying I’m not accepting God’s grace. By worrying I’m not placing my faith in all that God can do.
Matthew 6:25 – 34
25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
All these thoughts brought another question to mind that I’m not sure I have an answer to.
Is my worry hindering me from seeing all the amazing things God is trying to teach me?
Do you think worry can become a hindrance in our growth?