It's 11:00 p.m. as I type. I'm tired but today is one of those days I want to hold on to. Nothing extraordinary. No fireworks or excitement. Just an ordinary June day. God filled today with joy and hope and ordinary time. I haven't felt much joy lately. Even as I force myself to count the gifts, the graces, joy has been hard to find. God has used this season though. To teach me to be more dependent on Him. To go through the motions even when I'd rather not.
I have also found myself in a transition in motherhood. While I'm still needed in ways. A clock keeper, a chauffeur, a cook. In other ways I am no longer needed. Games with mom just aren't as fun when you're eleven. Making brownies with mom doesn't have the same appeal as it once did.
We're in this place between. Between childhood and teenager. Between wanting to be a kid and play with legos to being more grown up and building with computer games.
He laid down in his bed tonight right after dinner. I almost worry he's getting sick. He inherited his night owl attributes from both his daddy and me. So 6:45 bed time is unusual.
As I've peeked in to check on him over the past five hours I've realized we're in that between place. We teach our children to become independent. At the same time, though, we must learn the art of letting them go.