Tag Archives: minute

As Seasons Change

I'm joining in for 5 Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama where you stop and write for just 5 minutes where you just write, for 5 minutes, without the pressure of getting it just right. 

Our son, also known as Squirt here on the blog, is growing up on me. I don’t blog too much these days about him. He’d rather me not. He’s living his own story to tell and I’m trying to find the balance in sharing the part that is mine while allowing him to write his own. But these preteen years are turning my premature gray hair even grayer. In all honesty I’m not exactly ready for it but I guess it will happen whether I'm ready or not. 

Conversations about girls creep up with more and more regularity. This mama's heart feels uneasy. He slips during a conversation telling me he asked one to be his girlfriend which thankfully at this age doesn't mean much but still. She told him no, that he was too good of a friend. So while part of my spirit sighs relief the other breaks for him. He struggles to deal with bullies and wanting to fit in, but wanting to be his own person. 

Yes the seasons are changing. I'm no longer the twenty something mama to a sweet strawberry blond bundle of energy and endless questions. Instead this 30 something mama is adjusting to the sight of a preteen edging closer to looking me eye to eye as he grasps at the teen years while clinging to childhood just a little longer. 

Deep Breaths

I’m finding myself in a transition period in some aspects of life. I'm having to learn to trust even without understanding. Alece wrote about this in her post yesterday and I had not even realized that the changes I'm sensing right now are requiring trust without understanding. I even thought to myself yesterday afternoon that I wish God would just write directions on the wall and in plain English. I’d rather not have to find a translator. 

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

I have such peace at times that I know it is God given but then situations arise and that peace is shaken and doubts creep in. Sometimes loneliness can make shadows seem larger than they really are.

So I take deep breaths. Letting go of the frustrations and giving all the hurts to him. Reminding myself there is peace in his promises. Even though I can’t see how He is working it out knowing I can trust. Taking deep breaths until I can understand.

Five Minute Friday: On Distance

Distance. 

I walked over to our sister-in-law to tell her a quick good-bye as she greeted friends who have come to pay last respects to her dear daddy. I look to our nephew standing next to her. But this time I had to look up, way up, craning my neck to look him in the eye.

Distance.

The oldest of our five nieces and nephews. He was ten months old when I met my husband. I chased him around their house and neighborhood. Big brown eyes and brown hair. Adorableness wrapped up in an all boy toddler. 

Life moved them away to other cities. The distance only just over an hour now, but still enough to keep us from being involved in their daily lives. 

All of the five growing up. Oh sure I’ve known this. Every few months when we see them all they are a bit taller, a bit more grown looking. Each year a bit more mature. 

I miss seeing them more often, but in an odd way I am thankful for the distance. 

It’s the distance that makes me pause and reflect, to fully appreciate the young men and ladies they are all becoming. 

On Waiting – 5 Minute Friday

I've been participating in Five Minute Friday over at The Gypsy Mama for the past few weeks. The task is to stop for just five minutes and write. Not the easiest thing for me. I'm a slow writer still trying to overcome the need for it to be perfect the first time. So these may not be my best work, but I think this is a good exercise for me to do each week

On Waiting 

So much time I spend waiting. Waiting on the rainy week to end. Waiting on the sun to come up on sleepless nights. Waiting on inspiration to strike.

Our son isn't always the most patient of children. Not many are right? In disciplining him to be patient I'm reminded of how patience is learned. It doesn't come overnight. Sure there may be some who are just naturally more patient, but I think for most of us we don't like waiting. Part of that spurred on by our culture and part by our human nature. Think of the disciples. They wanted an earthly king and couldn't quite grasp the concept of a spiritual savior in the beginning could they? 

What about us? Isn't waiting with patience something we have to learn? Isn't it a discipline? A characteristic we have to allow him to grow within us? 

 

Five Minute Friday: I Feel Loved When…

Hearing compliments about what I write or things I do is something I crave. It's when I feel loved. Needing that affirmation. 

But this can also be dangerous. I can start to think I can do it all in my own power. And that's not the case. In other words I have to guard against the proverbial big head. 

Any gift I have or well performed task or well written blog post should be credited back to God. Not me. Who am I without the gifts he gives me? Without the graces he gives me? 

So I constantly seek balance. Accepting the compliments as grace and returning the thanks to him for the gifts he gave me. Just another way he's teaching me Eucharisteo. Giving thanks.